Thursday, December 13, 2012
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Goal Sheet
My Dreams
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Goals
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| Control Depression/Anxiety | Daily:
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| Sell artwork as a fine artist | Daily:
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| Graduate with a 3.9 or higher GPA | Daily:
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A good quote: “Life has its disappointments, but there is no reason to be one of them.” It is very frustrating to me when people know what’s right and they just don’t do it. The people who suffer most from those mistakes are the ones who love them. I don’t want to be a disappointment to the people I love.
My family history: My family has a very well documented history, at least in the last few centuries. Much of my work is already done. My patriarchal blessing specifically mentions family history work, though, so I know it must be very important for me. I do feel a special closeness to my ancestors that I know many people don’t feel. I enjoy family history work as well. I really feel like it needs to be a big part of my life.
My biggest goal: I need to get my health firmly under control before I can do much good in any aspect of the Gospel and my life. Depression and anxiety disorders are debilitating. They, combined with their many symptoms, rule my life right now. To make myself as useful as I can be to the Lord, my family, the world, and myself, I need to come to a point where I control my depression, rather than it controlling me.
My family history goals:
-Keep a scripture log/journal daily
-Attend the temple once a week
-Index at least one batch a month
-Attend Church meetings and serve in the Church
-Keep strong relationships with my family, extended and immediate
-Keep and build a strong testimony, including family history
-Be married in the temple
-Teach my children the Gospel, including family history principles
-Work on my family’s needed research
-Serve a family history mission (or eight) with my husband :)
Obstacles to those goals:
–scripture log: it takes time, and the best time I’ve found for scripture reading is also when I am most depressed, so it’s hard to make myself do anything
-temple: again, it takes time, and I’m already anxious about my busyness
-index: again, time
-Church activity: ? I honestly can’t think of obstacles to that
-family: I live far away from all of my family. On my dad’s side, there is a lot of contention and sensitivity that is very hard to deal with, and it’s extremely depressing for me to work with it
-testimony: Depression. How do you have a testimony if you don’t have emotions?
-marriage: I have to be patient and not let my anxiety rule either my emotions or my logic
-children: the world is so hard for them to live in, and I can’t control them
-research: time, this will be something for later on, and it may be hard to find a place to start
-missions: I guess the Lord may have other plans for me and/or my husband, finances
How to overcome those obstacles:
Like I said above, the first thing I need to do is get my own mental and physical health under control so that I can be productive. That is my number one priority right now, before school, even. As I’m working on that, some of these other goals will happen.
For scripture reading and log, the most important thing is to just keep plugging away at it. I often don’t feel like doing it, but I need to have the self-control to do it anyway.
To go to the temple, I need to set aside a specific time every week and refuse to push it off for other things. I have a set time, but I often end up pushing it to the next day, and then the next and end up not doing it.
For indexing, I also need to set a specific time. Sunday evenings may work well for that, but they may be too full. I will try then and if it doesn’t work I will try Friday nights, probably.
As far as Church activity goes, I really don’t have a problem with this. I am pretty good at that. Sometimes, though, my depression says “I don’t want to go to church” and I can never let that become a feeling I follow through with. I have to guard that one closely.
To keep my family ties strong, I do a pretty good job. It just takes a lot of patience and prayer and forgiveness. I am working on that, but it is slow.
My testimony is strong, but I have a hard time holding on to it all the time. I mostly just need to control the depression for that.
Marriage, I mostly have to wait for and be patient. I am not good at being patient. I need to be temple worthy and be social, which is again hard for anxiety. I am trying to go out of my way to be more social.
To teach my children, I need to be righteous and knowledgeable myself. I am always learning more, of course, and I try to teach people around me now. I also need to be looking for guys who have those qualities so that whoever I marry can teach our kids well.
To do family history research and serve a mission(s) is a long way off. The most important thing I can do now is save money and get a good financial base, because to have the leisure and money to do either of those things, I need enough money to be stable. I am certainly trying to do that now, but since I don’t have a job I can’t really do a whole lot now. I will get a job and save a few extra thousand dollars over the winter.
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